Wistaria and Azaleas
by Catwho
Summary: Akari asks Hikaru to a school dance. Sai reveals a previously unmentioned part of his past.


Wistaria and Azaleas  
by Cat Who  
  
Disclaimer: Hikaru no Go ain't mine. I do want a sexy thousand year old Heian period ghost of my very own, but since I doubt I'll ever get one I just have to borrow Sai. I make no profit.  
  
Author's note: I had this idea about halfway through the manga, and hopefully there hasn't been something I've missed from the untranslated tankoubon 7-15 ^_^ Sai is my favorite character in all of anime/manga at the moment (displacing Shigure from Fruits Basket as my number one biseinen) and as much as I love yaoi, I don't think he's gay. (Androgynous, yes; gay, no. Much like Kenshin in that respect.)  
  
Tsutsujino Kaori's name means "fragrance of azaleas." I love Japanese names. Incidentally, wistaria and azaleas are my two favorite flowers. Both are native to Japan but have successfully invaded my native Georgia, albeit on much smaller scale than the infamous kudzu.  
  
Finally, to understand exactly what sort of court life Fujiwarano Sai came from, you must read the Tale of Genji. *grin* It's very cool.  
  
---  
  
Eight grader Shindou Hikaru slumped down in his seat, poring nervously over the English test in front of him. Sai was good for history, and occasionally math, but English remained as much a mystery to the ghost as to Hikaru.  
  
"Translate . . . 'That person is a princess. She has a secret' into English. Hmmmm. . ."  
  
"Nice pun there," Sai commented from the sidelines, looking over the test. "I still don't know why you have to learn this odd language, though."  
  
"Most of the Internet -- that box thing we play go on -- uses it," Hikaru thought back with a shrug. "When next summer comes around, I want to at least know what the gaijin players are saying to us."  
  
Sai smiled and did a happy dance. "I can't wait for summer break."  
  
"I can. Touya . . . he'll have all that time to practice now that he's a pro and doesn't have to worry about school . . . We'll both have to train hard." Hikaru nodded emphatically, and snapped his pencil against the desk. Then he slumped over and stared at his nearly blank test. "Hime . . . himetsu . . . ugh, I hate school."  
  
"Concentrate, Hikaru. Unlike Touya, you DO still have to worry about school."  
  
"Yeah, yeah . . ."  
  
* * *  
  
With the brutal English test finally over, Hikaru left the classroom with a relieved sigh and went to get his shoes from the lockers. He was nearly there when Akari flagged him down.  
  
"What do you want?" he asked her impatiantly, and tried to escape.  
  
"Ummm, Hikaru, I have a question to ask you," she said nervously, and her panicked expression caught him off guard. She sometimes looked jittery, but at the moment she looked as if she'd flee like a frightened rabbit at any moment. Hikaru relaxed and looked at her, willing her to calm down a little, as her tenseness was catching.  
  
"What is it, Akari?" he asked, peering at her with owlish eyes.   
  
She looked down at her feet and mumbled something in response.   
  
"What?"  
  
"I said, there's a school dance this Friday and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me," she said a little too loudly and distinctly. Several third years around them heard and snickered quietly. Her face turned a deep shade of crimson.  
  
"Oooh, dance?" Sai said excitedly from the sidelines. "Back in the Heian court, we occasionally had dancers come through--"  
  
"D-Dance?" Hikaru cried, and stumbled back away from her, suddenly realizing why she was so nervous. "Ugh, no way. I haven't got time for any sort of stupid nonsense. I do have a tournament coming up, you know." He stuck his nose in the air and started toward his locker again. Akari would not be daunted, however, and followed him, stomping her feet along right behind him.   
  
"Ever since you became an insei, you've forgotten what it's like to be a regular kid," Akari protested heatedly. "I'm not saying it has to be a . . . a date, or anything, I just want you to not regret giving up everything for a stupid game."  
  
"Go is NOT stupid!" Hikaru roared, and faced her down. "I thought that you were changing, that maybe since the girls have enough people to go to the tournament that you might understand how I feel, but I guess I was wrong." He finished putting his oversized sneakers on in silence. Akari stared at him for a few minutes, and then ran away, sobbing.  
  
"Hikaru, you might have been a little nicer," Sai chided. "She does like you, but if you keep pushing her away she's going to look for someone else."  
  
Hikaru snorted as they started on their way home. "I don't care if she likes me or not. She's just Akari to me. She's been bugging me for my whole life."  
  
"Yet you'd miss her if she stopped, right?"  
  
Hikaru shook his head in denial. "No way. I'd be happy if I never saw her again." He would said no more.  
  
But Sai thought he saw the faintest hint of a blush on Hikaru's face. "I think you do like her, Hikaru," he thought to himself, and remembered the fearful look on Akari's face. "And she is afraid for you. You're pushing yourself hard, which is wonderful, but lately you've been forgetting that there are other things to live for besides go." Sai blinked for a moment, and then closed his eyes with a faint smile behind his fan. "When you are alive, anyway."  
  
* * *  
  
Once home, Hikaru raced upstairs and collapsed on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Sai settled down in his new favorite spot, in front of the goban, and waited for Hikaru to come out of his pre-teen funk.  
  
It didn't take long.  
  
"Stupid Akari," he muttered, and flopped over so that his head hung off the edge of his bed. "Asking me to a dumb school dance in front of everyone . . . I'll be the laughing stock . . ."  
  
Sai said nothing, but stared at his protogé with his usual thoughtful smile. Hikaru would come around eventually. It was one of the reasons he was so adept at go; even though he was stubborn, he could recognize and improve upon most of his own faults.  
  
"And what did she mean, she doesn't want me to regret anything? Go is . . . that is, I can't just do all the normal kid things now that I'm an insei. Normal kids go to cram school and fight to get into good high schools and colleges . . . but . . ."  
  
"But you are normal. Just because you've discovered a passion for go doesn't mean you can't have anything else in life."  
  
Hikaru stared at Sai, then slid off the bed, blinking curiously at the ghost. "What do you mean?" he asked.   
  
"Think about it. Touya Akira had to come from somewhere, right? Touya Meijin must have been married someplace along the line. I'm not sure about modern marriage processes, but even if it was an arranged marriage, he still had a wife to deal with."  
  
Unconvinced, Hikaru countered. "He could have banished her once Touya was born."  
  
Sai smiled again. "I somehow doubt that. Wives of powerful men may be secondary to their husband's careers, but they are very important nonetheless."  
  
"What about you, Sai? Were you ever married?"  
  
"No," Sai said, but Hikaru suddenly felt a wave of meloncholy not unlike Sai's sadness when he wasn't allowed to play go. It wasn't as strong, although it did make him suddenly queasy. "No, I never married her . . . but I did love someone once."  
  
Hikaru recovered and looked at Sai, who was staring out of the window, remembering. "Why not?"  
  
"Because she knew I loved go more than I loved her."  
  
* * *  
  
The courtesans were in their tea room, arranged like large butterflies upon the tatami. Lady Murasaki had just revealed the next part of her wonderful story, and everyone had retreated to private fantasies about Genji-san. The pensive mood was interrupted by the welcome cry of the younger women.  
  
"Master Sai is coming here!"  
  
Immediately the butterflies scattered in a flurry of kimono and yukata, to fetch the goban and some tea. Master Fujiwarano Sai was quite popular among the ladies there, both for his startlingly beautiful good looks and his friendly instruction for the popular game.  
  
One girl in particular looked at the door with avid interest. Her name was Tsutsujino Kaori, and she had heard about the beautiful go master who had the entire female population of the court in a titter. Even though she had only come to help her sister get settled into her new visiting marriage, she thirsted to experience as much of court life as she could before she had to return to her father's castle.  
  
With his usual grace and friendly smile, Master Sai settled himself in front of the goban while various ladies clambored to play shidougo with him. Not wanting to make enemies of the other women, Kaori kept near the back. By chance she caught Master Sai's eye, and the feeling that coursed through her body was unlike any other she had felt before. His calm violet eyes staring into her own deep gold ones and held them fast. She could not move for several moments.  
  
"I shall play someone I have not played before first," Sai announced gently, and the sea of butterfly kimono parted to reveal Kaori, all of eighteen years old.  
  
Go! Oh, how she loved go . . . she had played with her brothers back in the daimyo castle her entire life. She had been much better than them, although because she had never played a strong opponent she had no true measure of her talent.  
  
"Pleased to meet you," she said formally with a bow, breaking her eye contact with him for a moment. Sai bowed back and replied with the same.   
  
"Domo," he said, gesturing toward the board.  
  
"Dozo," she answered, and with that they picked up the stones. Kaori chose black.  
  
"You may place as many stones as you like," he offered. "Have you ever played go before?"  
  
"Oh yes," she breathed, and set down four stones, which seemed to please and surprise him. "I have played many times."  
  
"Then I shall play a gentle but firm game."  
  
It was the same old go, but to Kaori, who had never before played an expert, the game was as if it were the first time she really played. Master Sai patiently waited as she thought of places for her stones, and as the game progressed made small compliments to her strategy. She lost, of course, but the game had excited her as no other game with her brothers had before.   
  
"I have nothing," she said once the real outcome was clear. Master Sai bowed in acknowledgement, and they cleared the board.   
  
"That was an excellent game," Sai offered, and looked her directly in the eye. "You have good potential. I would like to play you again, sometime."  
  
Kaori blushed beet red and ducked away, while one of her older peers made a rather smart comment about young courtesans getting ahead of themselves.  
  
She watched the other games with genuine interest. Lady Murasaki teased and flirted her way through a spectacular loss to Master Sai, while others played quietly, concentrating on what he was trying to teach them. Kaori was pleased to see that she was more skilled than anyone else who played him.  
  
* * *  
  
Late that evening, Kaori felt the need for fresh air, and she stepped outside into the sunlit garden. The wisteria and azaleas were both in full bloom, and mingled into a rich scent that almost made her light headed.   
  
Her sister was doing well at court with her visiting marriage, and so Kaori would be returning back home soon. Her father had expressed his wishes for a marriage between her and the son of the daimyo of the lands next to theirs, and Kaori had not, until meeting Master Sai, seen any reason to defy him.  
  
But now . . . she wanted to stay at court. She wanted to play go with him again. She wanted to lose her heart into those bottomless amethyst eyes.   
  
"Is this . . . love?" she asked herself, and looked down at her reflection on the koi pond. The blazing sunset brought out pinkish highlights in her hair, and in a self conscious moment she patted a loose wisp back into place.  
  
"Is what love?" a voice queried from behind her, and she turned with a gasp to see Master Sai only a few feet away.   
  
Hastily she bowed and stammered an apology. "I am sorry, I was only talking to myself . . . I . . ."  
  
"It's all right. May I have your name?" he asked, tapping his fan against his jawbone, a gentle smile playing on his lips.   
  
Still bowed low, Kaori managed to choke her own name out. "Tsutsujino Kaori," she said. Her heart thumped someplace in the vincinity of her stomach.  
  
"A beautiful name, for a beautiful flower." He took a step closer, and Kaori almost forgot to breathe. "I wanted to know if you wished to play another game of go with me," he asked.  
  
"I--, oh, yes!" she cried, and then covered her mouth in horror. "I would like that very much," she said again more politely. Sai laughed, a warm but deep sound, and leaned his head toward one of the smaller salons of the palace. Kaori didn't know if she was actually allowed to go in there -- no one had expressly forbade any part of the castle to her during the few days she had been in court -- but she had a feeling that the women as a general rule didn't go into those rooms. Except, perhaps, with an invitation such as the one she had received.  
  
The salon was small and private. A goban was centered exactly in the middle, with two comfortable cushions on either side.  
  
"This is where I usually play a game with visiting nobles," Master Sai said, and gestured to one of the cushions. "The emperor recieves his instruction on the throne room, but when I am not teaching him I teach in here."  
  
"I see," she said, and lovingly touched one hand to the goban.   
  
"You have played much before, as you said," Master Sai began. "But your opponents have not been worthy of you. I shall teach you how to play for real."  
  
"Ah-- yes," she croaked, and they began.  
  
The first game lasted for less than ten minutes, but they continued playing, Master Sai giving her suggestions and pointing out small mistakes. Kaori absorbed his instruction, and the next game lasted for much longer. They played as long as the fading light allowed, and then in the twilight, declared their love for each other, with words and with actions.  
  
* * *  
  
Hikaru had a rather horrified expression on his face. "Saaaaai, you . . . you didn't. Ewww!"  
  
Sai looked rather smug. "Someday you'll understand."  
  
Hikaru winced and covered his eyes. "I don't think so. But that still doesn't explain . . . she wouldn't have you? But you--"  
  
"She and I had an affair, but eventually she told me that she could not compete with my love for go. Sadly, she was right . . . as much as I believed I loved her, I loved the game more. Rather than force her to always be second best, I offered to let her go. She refused, saying she wanted to be with me, but she would not become my wife."  
  
"You offered to just let her go?" Hikaru couldn't believe it.   
  
"I did. Even now, though, after a thousand years, I have no regrets about loving her. She was really a very talented player . . . after my death, I wondered if she ever found someone else to love." He smiled to himself. "Or to play go with."  
  
Hikaru sighed and clambored back onto his bed. Sai's story really hadn't helped him much.  
  
"Akari reminds me a lot of Kaori, in some ways," Sai volunteered, but Hikaru continued starting at the wall. "Even though Kaori was a lot more demure and refined, Akari and she both have the same mindset. I died before Kaori grew weary of being second best, but Akari has not yet given up on you. She'll continue to reach for you, even if you become a pro, because she hasn't yet realized that you love go more than anything."  
  
"Who says I love go more than anything?" Hikaru snorted.  
  
"I think if you asked pretty much anyone but Akari, they would say you do," Sai said wryly. "I don't want you to end up convincing her of that, which is what will happen if you continue the way you are going. Intensive training doesn't mean you can't be a human being. I don't want you to end up like me, selfishly clinging to this world because I want to continue a game. You're young, and you have a whole lifetime of go ahead of you. Attending a dance with her won't set you too far behind."  
  
"So you're saying I should go."  
  
"It's up to you."  
  
Hikaru sighed and sat up again, rubbing his head in reluctant concession. "All right, all right, I'll go to the stupid dance. Let me go call her . . ."  
  
As Hikaru ran downstairs for the phone, Sai followed lightly, his smile hidden behind his fan. Memories of Kaori were all pleasant, and he wasn't lying when he said he had no regrets about their respective choices. Had he not been banished . . . had he lived, perhaps she would have grown cold to him, but thought their time together was brief, it was powerful. Lady Murasaki had taken Kaori under her wing, and he knew that his banishment wouldn't reflect badly on her at all. 

A thousand years had passed since then. A thousand years to forget about the love of a woman, and to hone and pine for his game. Sai preferred to let those memories sleep now. He had more important things to think about . . . such as the Hand of God.  
  
--  
Owari.


End file.
